| timeless christmas mix-tape |
[12/27/08] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 complacent |
] |
Enjoy :)
I made a mix tape of some great holiday classics and thought I'd share them! :)
{1} Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow by Frank Sinatra
{2} God Bless the Child by Billie Holiday
{3} Winter Wonderland by Tony Bennett
{4} Here Comes Santa Clause by Doris Day
{5} Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer by Dean Martin
{6} The Christmas Song by Nat King Cole
{7} Sleigh Ride by Ella Fitzgerald
{8} I've Got Plenty to be Thankful For by Bing Crosby
{9} Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas by Judy Garland
{10} Deck the Halls by Tony Bennett
{11} Blue Christmas by Elvis Presley
{12} The First Noel by Frank Sinatra
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| living dead girl |
[06/26/08] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cheerful |
] |
When "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum" is over I will actually have a life to write... I've missed writing. I feel empty! Of course, I chose this life... I have an immense passion for theatre even if it doesn't leave much time for other things most of the time. Anyhow, I have managed to spend money on books lately instead of going into Empire and reading until I'm finished like I usually do. I finally spent the money on Charles Bukowski's book of poetry "Pleasures of the Damned" and Billy Collins' book of poetry "Sailing Alone Around the Room"... both are my two favorite poets in the entire world. :) I also bought a beautiful and intricate teeny little journal that I've started writing my favorite quotes, poems, and lines of literature. I've been feeling quite low lately due to hormones and stress so opening up this little book to read words that send chills through my spine really helps. :)
Anyway, Nathan and I did a photo shoot for fun since we had a little bit of free time yesterday.
( brought to you by Christian Dior and Guess )
|
|
| just for now |
[05/07/08] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 artistic |
] |
Contemplating
Behind the wheel
Is where I contemplate
Best
When far from reach
Is a black beauty
Of eighty-eight.
Succumb do I
To the tendencies
Of unorganized
Thought
Where the trails
Of black asphalt
Compose them neatly.
And guided am I
In capturing such
Atoms of idea
Flickering
Like the flame
Where the nicotine is nursed
By sounds of Imogen Heap.
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| highway lines & the show begins in five minutes |
[02/16/08] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 lonely |
] |
When I compose music, there's always a hint of my classical training within. Yes, I'm a classical pianist yet when I compose not all of my music is strictly classical. My pieces are very much built on the fundamentals of structure with a hell of a lot of emotion thrown in. You see, when my life is a chaotic mess [ as it usually is ] I write chaotically. My pieces will usually be in a minor key with a lot of dissonant notes that string along with the foundation of a haunting melody in variations. In an attempt to understand my own emotions and how I tick, [ because frankly, I often can't rationalize my own feelings ] I think I've realized that while I compose so chaotically as I put it, my mind is trying to figure the emotion and give it [ the music ] structure. I never at once compose an entire song but rather write little melodies and variations and wire them together like a puzzle. It's as if one is looking at photographs of one specific event. Each "photograph", musically, is a variation or new occurrence within the same idea. I also believe I compose with classical style not only because of my training but because I'm trying to organize the thoughts in my mind that would run a muck the keys if they had no framework to bound such emotional frequencies. I reveal a lot about myself through music which is why I write about it so much. It helps me to understand myself better than anything else ever could. I recently began composing a piece and I think it's my best yet. I'd kill to see it as a film score someday. God, that is my biggest dream... to compose for films. I think, as aforementioned in a post on here that my music needs more realism. As said regarding my writing-- I don't write for the masses, and I certainly don't compose for the masses. As a film composer, yes, I would be composing FOR something and not necessarily for 'me' but the beauty would be using a part of me to convey musically what someone is creating visually. I think the touch of realism needs to be those "sound effects" that you hear in a film. I don't need them to feed the film genre of music but rather I believe my own personal compositions could use a touch of background instances to make them more whole; with more depth. I envision a piece [ that I have yet to compose ] beginning with the sound of walking through the snow. Perhaps the sound of a car whizzing down the highway, bringing out the visual of highway lines passing by in musical form. Perhaps even the murmur of an audience in the theatre as an announcer says the "show will begin in five minutes". Things like that, give form to ideas. My music is real... sure it is. It's entirely me. But it's also a musical fantasy. It needs to be brought out of the clouds of my carousel-mind and back to reality. Though I don't write for the masses, I want people to be able to relate to my music and feel it within their bones. I want the melodies that my fingers create to resonate within their head while they become hypnotized by a musical sequence. I think this "touch of realism" in my music will embed these emotions.
Whenever I get an album together someday, the last song of the album will have an ending note-- it will be the sound of exhaling. It will be the final relief, the final release of everything that has happened to the present.
Oh the sweet five lines of treble and bass...
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| a half-way-intellectual manner of explanation |
[02/09/08] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 hopeful |
] |
I watched Donnie Darko two days in a row. I tend to do that with books & movies. I re-read/re-watch them right after I get through with them. I never fail to catch something that I didn't the first time around. I think it also helps me take it all in the second time around.
Anyway, I feel like writing something today, not now though. I need to be composing. I have the urge to write something prose-y and probably will. Hopefully.
Well anyway, last night was good fun. Went to the java joint after piano with Nafeesa and that was fun. I tried a chai latte for the first time and it was pretty good. I probably talked her ear off and seemed completely weird yesterday, but hopefully not. I was in a weird mood yesterday. Then I went to escribitionist rehearsal and did the second read-through of the script. It went over much better. I felt completely comfortable, and was really into it. Abagail is starting to become a part of me and it's overwhelming-- exciting. She and I have more in common than I thought. I'm just a little ahead of her time-- I've figured out who I am as a person, and she hasn't. I've been through that though, so I have that insight to her character. I figured I'd be nervous because this is the first time I had to read it in front of Kris the director but I wasn't. It came very naturally, and while reading it's as if I was transported into the story itself. It felt real. Even if there were funny interjections, and screw-ups. That'll happen. But aside from those instances, I feel more like "Abagail" this second time around and I expect I will even more each week.
I never really considered myself a great actress before. Sure I did commercials when I was little, but that's different. The world of theatre in the past few years has pulled me back in, and opened up a land of opportunity I didn't know existed. I used to think music was the only thing for me, but it's not. While composing is my first love, there's still plenty of passion to go around. I've never attended any acting class, and so when I got into theatre I was always nervous picking up a script wondering how I could become another person. I don't know... it just, clicked. Sure I'm not the best at it, I've only done a few shows along with commercial work but I'll get better. Just here in Huntington I've seen so much talent and people I look up to. I have a little confidence, sure, but not like I do with other things. I've done 3 shows and am now in this movie so I don't have worlds of confidence, because I'm still wary of my abilities. I hope to have the confidence of Brittany Hazeldine one day. Granted I have a love for theatre, but I don't have as great of a sense of security as I do, say, with things I've been involved in longer like piano and choir. What I hope shines through right now, and completes my characters (both Millie and Abagail) are my passion. Because any way in which I can perform takes me to a world where reality doesn't exist. It's not that I'm afraid of reality, but performing takes me to this level-- this dimension of time where I can express myself through my adrenalin-rushed body in different ways. It's a state of euphoria, embraced with passion. Like an R.E.M. cyclic existence of wake in the form of expression. It's a dream pattern for me... performing.
Anyway, I've been slacking on photography lately. Another passion of mine of course. I'd like to start doing band photos. I've been asked to do senior photos but I declined because I was too busy at the time. Now, I think is a good time for me to pull out my camera more often. I wish I had an SLR or a nice 35 mm. Hopefully I'll get one for my birthday. That would be fantasmic.
:)
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| little miss over-acheiver |
[02/08/08] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cranky |
] |
So you know how I freaked the fuck out about my "Correlation between music & visuals" science research project?
Yeah yeah, well my dad said "as usual Brittany, you get things done by deadlines and you always freak out that you're not going to. You always pull ahead of everyone else in the end."
Yeah, he's right.
I did put a lot of effort and dedication to my project.
I didn't prepare for my oral speech AT ALL for the judges.
(I had 6 judges all together)
But, I'm very talkative and expressive and since my project was something I was extremely passionate about I didn't really worry about the oral part. I'm really excited to see my scores because the judges loved my project. One of them in particular said that they definitely saw how much passion I had for music as well as how much knowledge I had about the psychological aspects of music on the brain and that a great career field for me would be advertising-- as in composing jingles and whatnot for commercials-- or composing for film scores. I can say I actually have never thought about the advertising part, mostly about film music (which is what I want to go into, writing music for films or musicals!) So a compliment like that was extremely flattering.
One downfall is that one of the students (Anthony) didn't have anything-- board, no experiment whatsoever. Apparently his test kit didn't work so he didn't do the project. He did, however, explain to the judges what his intentions were, inspiration for the research, hypothesis, and why he thought it failed. WELL, I had this plain-looking female judge as one of mine who was extremely quiet and seemed a bit intimidated. (I've been told I come off that way, though I don't mean to!) Anyway, I get a decent score from her-- a 32. Decent, not that great. She didn't seem to fathom what was going on, had no input, and had no questions to ask. She was a chemist, so I highly doubt she understood my project. WELL, she gets to Anthony's and a couple of us students are standing there watching and she is FLIRTING WITH HIM. Let me remind you-- he has nothing to show for research, just all talk. She's giggling, has that glisten in her eye... then he comes over and we're like "Anthony! She was flirting with you!" and SHE GAVE HIM A SCORE OF 33. Higher than most scores. Fucking stupid.
I notified 2 of the judges about it. I was not happy. Fucking bitch.
Anyway, hopefully my overall score is good. Wish me luck!
|
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| ignorance knocked me off my rocker |
[02/01/08] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 grateful |
] |
As a self-imposed writer I use words to explore realms outside and within my own mind, and discover knowledge and wisdom. I'm not one of those writers that writes for the masses. When told by an English teacher that I have to write an essay more in "layman's terms" it makes me cringe. I love traversing into the endless worlds of the English language with a thesaurus at my side. I recently wrote an essay that received acclaim from 2 of my English teachers as well as my calculus teacher on the Divine Proportion (PHI), and our human connection and disconnection with PHI and nature. I recently found out that it did not, in fact, make it into the Renaissance literary magazine. Why? Because those students choosing what was to go into this magazine decided my essay was too difficult of a read, and "boring". You know, I really want to strangle every one of them. So, I guess the student and teacher body would prefer to read poems about slitting wrists rather than GAIN SOME FUCKING KNOWLEDGE? Ignorance blows my mind sometime. I write to discover, and project wisdom and insight. But this whole not-making-the-magazine event has really got me thinking. Sometimes, I have to succumb to the masses. I think very differently, and that's not always appealing. I've realized that I don't always have to write elaborate metaphors and stanzas with perfect rhythms, or as if I should have been the child of Shakespeare [ oh god how I am in love with Shakespeare. ] No, I don't always have to. The person that made me realize this was Billy Collins. His words have sucked me in. His poetry is simple, yet imaginative, and real. That's what I've been lacking. I have spent all my time writing up in the clouds, analyzing phenomenons of the mind and nature, and failing to let loose the words of my day to day living. I guess I never realized my day to day adventures could be that exciting when written about. I always thought that I had to write about that which was above and beyond the current. I don't. While I'll never stop analyzing and dreaming the dimensions of human nature and the world which we live upon, I'm going to start settling my pen's ego down a bit. The last poem I wrote titled "Country Mystic" was my first endeavor into a simplistic style of poetry. It's real. It's me. Not that my former writing isn't me, but this specific poem is a glimpse at little details in personal experience that have affected me greatly. My former English teacher read "Country Mystic" and did not believe I'd written it, as she knows how I normally write. I told her, that I was taking a break from writing so ornately; that I have decided to journey into my own personal whims and write my every day adventures without my thesaurus. I think I'm going to have fun with this...
So, I thank you Billy Collins for your inspiration.
( Read a couple of his poems, you'll fall in love, I promise... )
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| country mystic |
[01/27/08] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 mellow |
] |
Never liked the country much
Until moving to a place
With pines and wild berries
Facing the window
The sunlight peeking
Through the evergreen branches
And reflecting the scarlet
Like the rouge brushed on my cheeks
To feel pretty.
Never liked the country much
Until the city skyscrapers
Became the wind whistling
Along with the steady rhythms
Of the melodies
Through my headphones
Beating like a robin's call
As I lay elegantly
Swept across the porch swing.
Never liked the country much
Until the hum of the crickets
Replaced ambulance sirens
Where I could sit in solitude
By candlelight with words
Of a classic story
By a classic writer
Whisking me far away
Into a world of unknown depth.
Never liked the country much
Until the lens of a camera
Became my best friend
As the sweet falling leaves
Danced prisms of color
In the autumn wind
And it became an adventure
Like a scavenger hunt
Or a kid in a candy store.
Never liked the country much
Until the rush hour traffic
Became the winding roads
Of endless time
With a cigarette flying
Out the window
To the tune of Led Zeppelin
And his guitar riffs
Raining upon my ears.
Never liked the country much
Until notes in agendas
Became destinations on a whim
To playgrounds of mountains
And country diners
Where the waitress
Never fails
To forget your name
Or your favorite drink.
Never liked the country much
Until my four-inch stilettos
Became the comfy tennis shoes
And messy-bun hair
Where there was no who's-who
To try to impress
And the simple plaid and flannel
That I thought ugly
Is now what keeps me warm at night.
Never liked the country much
Until the sunsets of grandeur
Replaced the gray steel frames
And concrete sidewalks
Where the clouds seem happy
And white with fresh air
Away from the black exhaust
And my silly road rage.
Never liked the country much
Until moving to a place
Where I could be
Who I really am.
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| tracks in the snow and the sound of exhaling |
[01/26/08] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
complacent |
] |
I've been composing lately... experimenting with different styling and genres and I know what I need. I need to add a bit of realism on top of the emotion-bomb that my music is. You see, I notice little details in life. Perhaps that's why I love the movie Amelie so much, the little things in our lives that enrich ourselves and others many things that in fact are mostly subconscious. Well anyway, I was noticing routine things these past two days: the sound of shoes crunching in the snow and the sound of exhaling-- many times with a 'grunt' of frustration and eagerness as Jordan and I arrive at the car with the warmth of confinement inside; away from the fifteen-degree weather. Then, I love the sound my engine turning off and pulling out the keys.
Why do I love these sounds? I don't know.
It's like Stomp... you know, the video you always watched in music class of people banging on pots and bouncing basketballs in different rhythms?
Well I like that. And I want those sounds in my music.
--------> so with that, here's last night:
Piano went well yesterday. My Chopin piece is almost entirely memorized, it just needs to be cleaned up a bit. My Bach invention however is a bit on the weak side due to the fact that I spend the majority of my time playing on my digital piano than the horrendously out-of-tune upright upstairs that was built in the days of the pyramids. Due to this, when I play it on the grand piano in mila's studio it sounds extremely weak and muddled together. SO, I shall start practicing in one of the university's practice rooms because I can't afford for me to sound weak during auditions.
Aside from that, after piano the night went well. Went to Java Joint across the street which is the greatest coffee house known to man where there are sketchbooks everyone writes/draws in, free artsy news papers, games, tv's, amazing food/coffee and live music. Davey-Dave (Steffie) met me there and we chatted a bit about shitty relationships and good relationships as well as our fascination with vintage things. David Smith made his way over for a bit the director of the Escribitionist, then I left to go get Jordan and she and I went to the student center for the Escribitionist auditions. It was pretty damn cool to audition for a movie. I started of a bit shaky I think in reading for Olivia's part who seems to be a bit ditzy, way too talkative, center-of-attention youtube vlogger. I did however, kick ass on the irish accent if I do say so myself. (I do love doing accents very much so!) But, I think I got warmed up about halfway through becoming more comfortable and being conscious of being subtle... I'm Millie in Thoroughly Modern Millie so monday through thursday I have to act like a showy flapper in a big city... so I tried not to do anything over-the-top like I'm used to. Then, I read for Abigail the main character who doesn't seem to really know who she is... and seems dependent on those around her (she asks Josh for one of his english papers) I enjoyed reading that as well and I think I did better as far as reading goes. Jordan did so good though. I really hope she gets a part, regardless of whether I do or not. :)
Anyway, aside from all that... PASTE is my new favorite magazine. The articles are written almost too-intellectually and poetic to be magazine articles about musicians, art, writing and film. The compliation CD's for every issue are amazing as well.
How is everyone?
|
|
| Let's play paradox! |
[01/22/08] |
Socrates arrives at a bridge guarded by a powerful lord, Plato, and begs to be allowed to cross. Plato replies:
"I swear that if the next utterance you make is true I shall let you cross, but if it is false I shall throw you in the water."
How can Socrates reply in such a way that he is not thrown into the water?
(Guess, don't look it up dumbfucks)
**Taken from "Paradoxes from A to Z" by Michael Clark.
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|
| I walked with you once upon a dream... |
[01/21/08] |
When I fall asleep, I curl up into a little ball and ponder about my day and future moments until I float off into a cloud of weightlessness where my mind is heavy, yet it is open. When the succession of images, thoughts or emotions (thank you Webster) floods my brain as I am catching Z's I am like Alice in Wonderland or the Pagemaster. I don't bother with dream books any more these days. I don't believe the key to my success is in my storybook sleep. What I do believe however, is that many things that are going on in our everyday lives is laid right out in front of us. I have noticed that during times in which I am feeling emotional or hesitant I tend to dream of pushing those around me away. No need for analyzing the blue pot with a daisy on the end table. I'm sure there could be a whole world of depth more to our dreams that every dream analysis book has pages to tell but would it truly hold the answer to everything in our lives? I highly doubt it. Regardless, I do find it interesting how our dreams reflect our current state of thinking. This past year I've been a lot more of a rational thinker, and thinking things through. A lot of my dreams almost seem to be a crime scene without the blood and guts. When there is an issue while upon my pillow, I foresee it, then set out to solve it using what is around me in my subconscious predicament. Perhaps these television series-like dreams help me solve things in the real world? Maybe, maybe not. Dreams to me, are like this solace from the real world. It's like the brain is scanning a library and picking out genres of books to play out before our sleeping retinas. I think one can often discover themselves through their dreams without need of any psychological reference. No one knows my mind better than I do, and I often discover things and ideas that I jot down upon waking. It's as if a movie scene is playing with this beautiful melody in the background and my waking is at the end of the credits. It's no wonder that many a time I have woken up, gone to the piano, and composed something! I think the human mind is most imaginative upon wake and before sleep. During these points in the day we are calm and uninhibited by troubling outside factors; free from negative frequencies and caffeinated biorhythms. It seems as if our minds are at their utmost innocence, like a kid in a candy store dying to explore the wonders of the unknown. I guaran-damn-tee you that if I tried to write a symphony mid-day in a chaotic household with a full agenda spilling its contents into my head, it would probably sound like noise pollution. It would lack "me"... it would lack the waves of my soul crashing into mind in the form of music. This is why I compose, I write, I paint, upon waking or before sleep. The instances of the day have fled my mind and the adventures of sleep are lingering within my head waiting for me to play them out into art.
So, put the dream books down kids. The next time you wake up, set the coffee pot to start a bit later and put pen to paper or finger to instrument. Sure your body may be tired, but your mind isn't... our minds are always active. See what your dreams will allow you to discover...
P.S. I just woke up about 10 minutes ago and wrote this with no intentions, I just knew I wanted to write about dreams and look at what I stumbled across! Now, off to that coffee pot!
|
|
| music: appassionata |
[01/01/08] |
Do you ever listen to a song and it gives you chills throughout your body? Isn't it amazing how music can do such a thing?
I experience this feeling often. It's incredible how this universal language... these frequencies of sound can inbed this euphoria within the ears surging through the body and stimulating the mind.
I believe every sound is MUSIC. The sound of my feet running through puddles; the sound of tree branches beneath my step; the sound of hammers to nails; the sound of the engine as I start my car; the sound of the washing machine; the sound of rain hitting a roof; the sound of birds chirping in their nests; the sound of cars passing by; the sound of a heart beating; the sound of trains on their tracks... it's endless. Every person has their own liking of music and no matter what the genre I respect all music. I can listen to a poetry reading and to my ears it will be musical; I can listen to a boy screaming lyrics into a microphone and to my ears it will be musical.
Sound can control our emotions on a whim and in a second we can become overwhelmed in an aura of harmonies. Music truly is the food of love, and I'm never full. Some are starving more than others, but music isn't the kind of disease you'll see on infomericals. It's the cure: it's the antidote to a bad day, a headache, a negative emotion. It helps us cope with reality.
Music is not only creation, it creates. It molds images, ideas, movements and dreams that manifest in our minds and influence our lives. It's addictive, and with lack of it, I surely have withdrawals...
An instrument is an incredible tool that we use to create beautiful sounds but in particular is the one we have built-in. Whispers, murmurs of sound, shouting, and singing. Our instruments are so versatile. It gives me chills to hear voices in harmony, or vibrato on the end of a note.
I believe humanity would be nothing without music. Music is our psychologist. It listens, it relates, it soothes. Those 88 keys of mine get the best of me. I cry; I sing; I whisper; I fight with it. It takes my beating: my emotions raw from the mind and pure from the heart and forms them into melodies so beautiful. Like snake venom is used in its own antidote, the anger formed into music is my own antidote. It's always there for me and really the only thing that is my constant. Hammers hitting strings when a simple key is pressed... I marvel at how this instrument has become a part of me. The sound of my vocal chords producing melodies... I marvel at how a part of my body can captivate others. I marvel mostly at how music, has wrapped its lines around me with its sounds echoing through my ears. It has given me the outlet to what I feel when nothing else can. It has allowed me to speak to the world in a language everyone can understand. It is my power, it is my perseverance, it is my path, it is my determination, it is my will, it is my fate, it is my emotions, it is my movement, it is my mind, it is my thought, it is my life, it is my death.
I have become victim to sound, and I'll never run away.
|
|
| a game of greed |
[11/21/07] |
For a weighted english lit assignment we had to work in pairs and write a tale with a prologue. It's for a competition and so my partner, Zach and I worked very hard on it but all the while the writing came naturally as we had a ton of fun with it and we both have interestingly creative minds. :)
Be so kind and comment on the prologue... if you're intrigued enough, I'll post the actual tale. The idea is based on the board game 'Clue' characters and everything. :)
( prologue )
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| in my little jar |
[11/01/07] |
Change floats on a current
Like a sailboat on a stream
And I dream
As a feather frees itself
In a breeze of flight
And I want to catch the wind
Not just fly into the clouds
Bottle up the sounds
In my little jar
Like fireflies
Blinking in our eyes
A lone man wandering
Looking where he's been
On a whim
He follows along the tide
In stride with the ebb and flow
I want no boundaries
I want no boundaries
And I want to catch the wind
Not just fly into the clouds
Bottle up the sounds
In my little jar
Like fireflies
Blinking in our eyes
|
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| coffee shop confessions |
[11/01/07] |
And so you speak
Words flow like music
Of your lips
That sip from the edge
Of a styrofoam cup
And the imprint left
Lasts long enough
For you to change your mind
But you dont
Not this time
You whisper in one ear
Out the other it goes
I cant listen anymore
I cant hear the words
You speak
When captivated by the eyes
That speak of you better
“It will get better”
You tell me
I tell myself it wont
But oh, you’re right
Things come and go
Ebb and flow
And I thought
We would always be stagnant
But here it is:
A fork in the road
Hundreds of miles
And I’ll imagine your face
Next to mine at night
And I’ll imagine
The way your hands
Used to feel in mine
I’ll look back
One day
And think of that one saying
Of never wasting fresh tears
Over old griefs
One day
I’ll hope
To get that phone call
And we can pick up
Where we left off
|
|
| home sweet home |
[08/31/07] |
I'm home now.
But, I feel this void inside me.
I've always had a love for Europe, especially after living in Germany... and spending my past 3 weeks there strengthened that love more than ever.
Everything was so incredible I can't even begin to explain.
We visited castles and cathedrals all over, staying mostly in Thiaucourt but visited the surrounding towns, and Pont-A-Mousson, Nancy, Riquewihr, Reims, and Paris.
The wineries were incredible as well as the wine tastings. We went to Lelievre, Trimbach, and Krug. I'd have to say Krug was the most incredible experience ever... we got a private tour around Krug (they don't give tours to the public) and then had Champagne tastings of Grand Cuvee and a '96. Then, the President of Krug took us out for lunch and we had 2 bottles of Grand Cuvee, THEN he gave each of us our OWN bottle as well as a moleskine diary. Then afterwards, the driver they provided drove us to Paris.
And Paris... oh how it is the love of my life. I never once felt out of place. I was asked 3 times if I was French or European, and random americans asked me for directions in french which was amusing. Even in a big city there's nothing quite like the aura of leisure among the hustle and bustle. It seems contradictory... but I love that everyone usually eats lunch between noon and twelve, and everyone is out at night. It's really a beautiful way of life and I loved being a part of it. I ate incredible food, went to bars, and took the batobus seine taxi everywhere. :)
I took almost 700 photos and filmed 10 videos... as soon as I get them all uploaded I will post them all. :)
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| msn |
[08/14/07] |
I have messenger here... not aim, so ADD ME!!!
berceaudunil@hotmail.com
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| c'est trés belle |
[08/14/07] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 excited |
] |
thiaucourt is beautiful... more beautiful than I can remember.
i dont want to leave. im glad i have 3 weeks here.
ill write more later.... i just wanted to say im safely here and it is amazing.
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| where am I going? |
[08/02/07] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
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So yesterday I started created a new header image for my layout (because I'm too lazy to code layouts like I used to, I just make new header graphics haha) and it was perfect... Amélie of course and then my computer crashed. Fucking computer. Anyway, I decided to start fresh today and work with some blending and this turned out completely different and looks 10x better... I love my new header image! :)
ANYWAY...
I can't seem to focus on anything lately except show choir choreography, my trip to france, and writing music. I've been slacking on my classical music and memorization and have been just writing music. Not a bad thing, but I really need to get on the ball so I'm prepared for college auditions. I'm so confused right now. It's not a 'bad confusing' more of an 'exciting confusing'... I know... doesn't make sense. Well, I'm confused as to where the hell I'll be next year and what I'm going to end up doing, but nonetheless I'm still excited about it all. I know next year life is going to change abruptly, and it's going to be a shock but I can't wait. I'm applying to Marshall (as a safe haven), Roosevelt (Chicago), Columbia College (Chicago), Arizona State, and UCSD (University of California San Diego). And I'll admit I would love to go to any of these colleges, but I'm really hoping that I'll go abroad. I want to make it happen. No, it better happen. But if it doesn't at least I won't be entirely disappointed because I will still be going to a good college whichever one gives me scholarship money. My mom never envisioned me staying here for long. She's right. Growing up traveling around the world and living in Germany... the culture of the world thrives in my heart. Although I'd be happy with any of the colleges I'll be applying for, I know I'd be in heaven over in Europe... it's where I belong. I've never felt more 'me' than when I'm over there. It's just a different way of life, and I live that way... I've grown up that way. I'm not saying ALL of The United States of America lacks culture because truly we are a nation of immigration, yet our country itself really lacks any personal culture. I want to be in a place where my music and art will be appreciated and will have a chance to take off, and I believe France is the best place for me. Family close at hand, and the chance to immerse myself within my own heritage... my own identity. I know I've been obsessing over this lately, and I'm sure it's getting annoying but I really can't help but to want with every part of me to be able to leave here in a year and start the adventure of my life. I don't see anything happening for me here like it would over there.
Europe has that... Je-ne-sais-quoi you know?
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rockklacasbahh's journal
